true friendship

something i always wanted... but thought i could never have.

i'm a shy person, which is probably the problem. where i come from, shy people always get their feelings hurt.

sadly, i'm no different. when i got my 1st computer and got the internet, i thought i would make a site where i could make online friends. i made 2 of them.

i've met some amazing ppl on here. ppl i know i will never forget. it's a break from the real world, even thought they're far away.

i love the friends i made online because we have alot in common. some r better than the friends i have in school. i love making new friends, i guess i gotta speak up more that's all :)


most of my friends say i'm weird for being on the computer all the time. I'M NOT ON THE COMP ALL THE DAMN TIME. one of the main reasons i'm on the computer is because of the online classes i have 2 take. if i don't take them, i can't graduate.

another reason is, it takes my mind off the hell i have to endure almost everyday. SCHOOL. i hate it. thank god i only have 2 months left and i'm a senior so i get out earlier than every1 else. the students in my school... they pick on me all the time... because of what i like.

i mean... y can't i listen 2 j-rock? just because they don't like doesn't mean i can't. I LOVE IT. IT'S THE BEST THING I'VE LISTENED TO IN A LONG TIME. BETTER THAN WHAT THEY LISTEN 2.

the music they listen 2, it's the same thing: drugs, sex, money, guns, violence... I CAN'T STAND IT.

i mean... i can't lie... i listened 2 it when i was younger. but that was all i knew. but when i was around my mom, we listened 2 old music. i like it. still listen 2 it. but i doubt very seriously i'll go back 2 those days of listening 2 wat the kids in school r.

i guess i'm done ranting.... for now...

i was told there was a shootout near our school and our rival high school (both schools are walking distance from the other) good thing i didn't have to take the bus today. i swear it's getting crazier and crazier in my school. yesterday something happened with a bunch of freshman and today something happened (even though it was outside our school it was close enough distance).

i hope no one was hurt. now i'm nervous to go to school 2morrow. in a way i wish 2day was friday. then i wouldn't have to be nervous about school.

i got a perfect score on my french project!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hallejuah! bout time i become happy again XD and i got to skip 2 classes 2 finish my project. god i hate going to ms. thaniel's class. all the damn kids work my last nerve in there.

then she can't remember a damn thing. 2 days ago i told her to move the boys' seats because they kept messin with me.

a few minutes later...

SHE FORGOT

what a surprise... NOT.

o well i didn't go to her class 2day anyway so idc right now XD

and my trade teacher won't be in school 2morrow :) YAY!

aah let's hope 2morrow will b awesome too :)

those SAT's were hard as hell!!!!!!!!! and not only that, WE WERE IN THERE LONGER THAN LAST TIME!!!!!! they were harder than last year!!!!!!!! (i took it again to improve my grade) i am so glad it's over.




it was crazy the moment i woke up. i was about to leave out the door when i realized i need a photo id in order to take the SAT's. but I COULDN'T FIND IT. so i called my friend petra to see if i needed it or get away with not having it. she told me i'll need to bring my mom in to identify me (which isn't hard because we basically look alike)

so i had to tell my mom some1 stole it (which is true) and she was mad. but was also clam about it too. she didn't at me THANK GOD XD. so when i went in there i told them i didn't have my id. the man told me "go to room 100 and they'll get u in" i said "okay" so i go in there but i realized what time it was so i pulled a guy to the side and told him i had no i.d. on me and he was like "u can't take the test" i said "the guy out there told me u can let me in with a slip saying i could take it" he says "sorry i can't." WHAT A JERK. so i had to call my mom BACK TO THE SCHOOL SO OF COURSE SHE WAS A LITTLE UPSET. anyways, when i told her the story she was just angry. THANK GOD SHE WASN'T ANGRY AT ME XD

we go back to room 100 and what do ya know, THE GUY WHO TOLD ME I COULDN'T TAKE WASN'T IN THERE ANYMORE. i guess he knew i was bringing some1 in or maybe he thought he was gonna get beat up XD. well, he came in a few minutes later and i pointed to him saying "that's the guy who told me i couldn't take it" the man was skinny. my mom has bigger muscles than him. she could probably break him like a twig (since the job she does requires alot of lifting that's where it comes from". she looked like she was gonna storm after him and make him write a slip for me XD but i didn't want any drama and i needed to take the test again so i pulled the SAME GUY over to me and i told him i still didn't have it BUT, i brung my mom in. he asked "does she have an id?" i called her over and he took her i.d. a few minutes later he comes back with a slip and says "go to the 3rd floor and that's where u'll take ur test. THANK GOD.

so my friend is waiting for me to get out from the room and we both say good-bye to my mom.

then i asked jess if we could test in the same room. she says "okay" so we wait in the VERY LONG LINE to be seated in the classroom so we can take the test. but as soon as we were about to enter the room, jess was the last person that could go into the room so we were split. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah XD

so i go into the classroom up the hall and idk any1 in the room. but it was all good. i just wanted to take the test and get it over with.

which is exactly what i did. but it ended an HOUR LONGER THAN THE LAST TIME I TOOK IT. i told my mom she can come pick me up now and she sys "ur uncle will b the 1 2 pick u up" i'm thinkin to myself "y is he pickin me up when he doesn't live on this side of town?" i thought he was gonna take me sumwhere. but my mom said he was gonna pick up somethin from my house. but i was determined to treat myself since i took a difficult test. so i convinced my mom to take me to TARGET.

1st period: was a little nerve-wracking. i had 2 act out a scene from a play called "MacBeth" in my group. AND IT WAS LESS THAN 10 PEOPLE IN THE CLASSROOM. and only 1 other person in my group was there at the time. not only that MY TEACHER WAS GONNA FILM US ACTING OUT OUR SCENES! every1 got nervous when we found that out. since alot of team members weren't there for each group some teams decided to team up to help out every1 with their scenes (including my team) which was very thoughtful. all in all, it turned out good even though we made mistakes (not too many) and some of us were camera shy (like me sometimes and those were 1 of those moments) luckily that's all we had to do in that class.

2nd-4th period: was like a free period. i was so glad i came to school wednesday bcuz the drill for taody was the same thing i already did so basically i got a free 100 (i seriously need it since i hate math and physics) then we had to watch a boring video about a subject we're doing in physics class. the guy in the video was very weird (he kept making weird noises and saying weird things XD) and take notes on the vid. that's about it for that class.

5-8th period: i had a project to turn in for that class. i wasn't finished. but when she said we can finish it during her class period i was jumping for joy in mind XD. i was so happy she said that. but then... i looked at the clock.

DAMN. it's almost time to go and i didn't even finish her project. then she said "if u didn't finish ur project u have till the end of the day. and once again... i was jumping for joy in my mind XD

9th period (which is my lunch period): there were alot of ups and downs.

that same certain person IS ON MY LUNCH PERIOD. AND HE HAD THE NERVE TO SIT AT MY TABLE. then he huffs and puffs so loud actin like i can't hear him. NO ONE TOLD HIM 2 SIT AT MY TABLE. ugh he was annoying, then my friend jess wanted to annoy him. i let her annoy him bcuz they're friends and as long as he wasn't talking to me i was good. but then she kept on pushing me to talk to him after i told her "no i don't want to." but then she kept saying his name and i yelled at her. i really REALLY didn't mean to yell at her. she looked so scared of me i felt guilty instantly. but she shouldn't have pushed me to talked to him. i apologized constantly to her of course. and she 4gave me. THANK GOD.

so to calm my nerves i talked to my friend petra. idk where i would b without her. she calmed me down.

and to think: all of 9th period happened in 30 MINUTES

10th period (last period yay! XD): it's basically a free period for me. it's my music class. we had textbook work (but it was easy bcuz i did it all within 30 minutes ^.^). after i did the work i went back 2 finishing my project for my law class. tank goodness i was almost done bcuz i didn't have too many ideas for the project. i finished with 15-20 minutes. after that i still had half the period left to go. so i watched the movie mr. pate had for use 2 watch called "the cave". it was good. well, all of his movies are good since he gets all the new movies that come out every tuesday.

after school: i turned in my project and it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. since i didn't have a bus ticket to take me home, i had to stay in school for an extra hour and a half (which wasn't too bad today). my friends were there so i was kept busy ^.^

i just wish that certain person wasn't such a jacka** 2 me. he gave me candy 2day. but it was in a rude way

here's the scenario:

i was walking up the ramp with my friend to the door we go into the school and i see him coming down the ramp towards me about to give me candy. but here's how he did it. he basically shoved the candy into my stomach and said "here you go". AND IT HURT WHEN HE DID IT. i was about to turn around and slap him and curse him out but i said "just walk away from it. it won't do no good to hurt him. it's friday, the last day of school for the week, and the last time you'll have to see him until monday. THANK GOD. cuz it pissed me off literally though half of first period.

like i said, i would probably listen to my ipod and watch tv all day XD

1st song of the day 2 get me pumped up:



then i watched vamps "love addict" pv





and the making of it:



then i watched alice nine's "cross game" pv (which i may say is amazing :)




and SID's "Sentimental Macchiato" Type B dvd

i took off from school 2day. simply bcuz of the fact i didn't want to go to the inauguration and i'm still not feeling good for sum reason. i took medicine for my headache and yet i can still feel it a little bit. hopefully it will go away soon ^.^ i basically just woke up about an hour ago and i'm still groggy as hell XD. but i wanted to get out of that bed. i'll probably just watch tv and eat all day XD i just hope i don't get any annoying phone calls about y wasn't i at the inauguration. but knowing my friends, i will T.T but like i told them before I DON'T NEED AN INAUGURATION 2 TELL ME THAT I'M A SENIOR. i mean all we're doing is sitting around listening 2 the choir, listen to what the principal has 2 say 2 us, and maybe a few other people, and say a pledge. i can sit around at home. and besides, i always fall asleep in that auditorium or listen 2 my ipod. basically i never stay focused in there XD

and 1 good thing is... i turned my cell phone off so even if they did wanna call, only a few ppl know my house number. so let's see who calls me XD

was quiet, and just nerve wracking.

it was quiet because 1 of my classmates was murdered last week and today was his funeral so the majority of the 12th graders went to his funeral. my classes were also quiet bcuz of that.

it was nerve wracking for many reasons.

1. today i got into an argument with my best friend (bcuz she lied 2 me about something) but i won in the end. she knew she was wrong.

2. it felt like all my friends were going against me and idk y. i mean they talked about me to my face. so i cursed them all out and walked off.

3. there's this 1 boy who keeps interfering with my friendship which some1 (and it almost worked bcuz i almost lost her as 1 of my only true friends today) but of course it didn't and we both yelled at him in the end XD

4. practicing walking in heels all the way up to the 4th floor in my high school (which is big it has five floors and long stairwells) was seriously a bad idea. but it paid off. i had 2 practice for my senior inauguration (basically it pledges us as being official seniors blah blah blah) LIKE WE ALREADY DON'T KNOW WE'RE SENIORS THE MOMENT WE PASSED THE 11TH GRADE. we don't need a ceremony to "pledge us in" whatever we get a free day out of school so why not XD

5. i have a killer headache at the moment. i guess it's from having too much greasy food lately. i took something for so hopefully i'll feel better.

6. and there's this boy in my 2-4 period class who kept flirting with me. ew gross. i don't like him. he just a friend. and i found out he has a child. HELL NO I REALLY DON'T WANT HIM XD

well, that's how my day went today. aaaah no pics today bcuz i was just too angry and i wasn't feeling good. i mean all i did in my classes was listen to my ipod and play my psp a little. but maybe i'll have some 2morrow ^.^

once again... my friends treat me like crap. and a certain person started this whole mess. i've been best friends with my friend jess since freshman year. and a certain person just had to get in the way. he just had 2 get in the way. he both told us different stories and i basically confronted jess to see if it was true. and what do ya know.... IT WASN'T. i already felt like i had a trust issue with my best friend (that's over with now) and he made it worse. i almost lost my best friend ever since freshman year all bcuz i let some1 get to my head. if it weren't for me he wouldn't have know who jess was. but i'm glad i cleared the air with jess. and we both yelled at the boy in the end for almost breaking up our friendship (which i gotta admit was pretty funny)

for getting me addicted to this song




but i'm glad she did. i wound up listening to their whole cd on her multiply and i love it. their cd is also on the american itunes too (jumps for joy) maybe i'll buy it or i'll get the cd from her.

nothing much.

1st period was a drag. gotta act out a scene from a play called "MacBeth". and i thought Beowulf was long. she's taking forever 2 finish it. but of course, my group finished early and i was bored out of my mind AGAIN. but i'd rather b bored than 2 have a test that lasts the entire class period.


i love this song (and cd) so much. can't go a day without listening 2 at least half (if not the whole thing) by the end of the day




and also this song and cd


2nd-4th period was boring. but it got interesting towards the end of it. since i can't listen 2 my music during that class, i just talk to the people around me. (and i sit in the front of the room and i never get in trouble XD)

5-8th period was a little boring because half of the people at my table didn't show up 2day. AND OF COURSE WHEN I THINK I DON'T GET A PROJECT, I GET A PROJECT. and it had 2 b my LAW/CRIMINAL JUSTICE CLASS. we gotta draw a damn comic book (and i can't draw due to my shaky hands). luckily it's due friday. maybe i can get my friend 2 draw it for me XD

10th period. all the seniors in my school (thank god i'm a senior XD) got out last period early for senior inauguration rehearsals. i didn't realize how many seniors it was. and there are more boys than girls in the 12th grade. we had to line up from shortest 2 tallest (which seem like it took forever) but only bcuz it was so many people. and we were basically standing the entire time we were there (which was basically an hour) on a waxed auditorium floor (and it was slippery as hell) the auditorium is slanted. it's almost like a huge hill except you go straight down. i'm still trying to figure otu how i'm gonna wear my heels on this slippery floor (since i've never really walked in heels before)

well, that was my day. kinda boring. kinda not. only bcuz i was allowed 2 listen 2 my ipod and hang out wit my friends all day basically.

AND IT WAS ONLY 1ST PERIOD! NOT EVEN AN HOUR WENT BY AND I TURNED MY EYES TO...

my psp of course. and guess what i was watching...

PV'S!!!!!!!!!

alice nine "rainbows"



and then 1 of my favorite pv's from them

alice nine "Gekkou Yoku" pv

wow it's bn a while since i wrote in my lj.  alot has happened since i last wrote in here. here's a list:

1. my grandma died (still sad and depressed)
2. 1 of my classmates died earlier this week from a bullet to the head (every1 left school bcuz they couldn't handle the news)
3. 1 of the high schools near mine threatened to shoot up my school and have a massacre (i left school early cuz i was scared)
4. my friends r really acting strange and r keeping secrets from me (and i would later find out what the secret was anyway)
5. i've bn stressed out for a while (bcuz of that stuff and more) 

but since i wanna release stress, i'll write more in here 2 calm my nerves (and post pics too)